For feedback at work to be effective it must balance kindness and empathy, with the ability to directly challenge behaviours or actions. Luckily, ‘Radical Candour’ can help with this.
Being ‘too nice’ when giving feedback leads to what Kim Scott coined ‘Ruinous Empathy’. Ruinous Empathy means being overly nice in order to spare another’s feelings. Creating a culture of kindness and trust is vital for psychological safety at work. Yet ‘Ruinous Empathy’ takes this too far, by diluting valuable feedback in order to come across nicely.
Kim’s recommended feedback approach is ‘Radical Candour’. Radical Candour means giving direct and honest feedback, whilst maintaining empathy for the colleague at the receiving end. Unlike Ruinous Empathy, Radical Candour enables you to say it straight, while respecting the emotions and complexity of the person before you.
Is it more important to be liked or respected? How you answer this question will likely indicate just how you approach giving feedback.
When People Insight lead group coaching workshops following 360 feedback surveys we often see managers struggling to have tough conversations with their peers, direct reports or their bosses. It is common to feel awkward about these conversations and end up beating around the bush.
The below framework from Kim’s book is used to describe feedback tendencies, depending on where you sit along the axes.
So, the good news is that you don’t have to be a nasty manager to be direct. You can say it as it is while also remaining human.
First introduced by organisational behavioural scientist Amy Edmonson, psychological safety means “a shared belief held by team members that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.”
A psychologically safe workplace is one where colleagues can, for example, challenge one another, admit mistakes, or share personal details without fear of repercussion or punishment.
Poorly delivered feedback can be harmful for psychological safety as it leaves colleagues feeling vulnerable, defensive or offended. Practicing radical candour on the other hand can support psychological safety at work by demonstrating to colleagues that mistakes are opportunities to learn, and ensuring feedback is led by empathy.
Below are some tips to help put radical candour into practice in your teams
This will give you the experience of what it is like to receive feedback and most importantly will build a foundation of trust in your team.
Explain why you are seeking feedback (ideally using the feedback framework mentioned above) and say something along the lines of “We all have feedback to offer those we work with, including myself. I’d really appreciate it if going forward you can be honest and direct with me if you have feedback about my approach as a manager or the work I produce.”
Your team may be hesitant about doing this at first. Reassure them that it’s OK and avoid critiquing their criticism. Start by asking questions in team meetings or 121s like:
People Insight’s employee surveys indicate that, as a trend, employees desire more guidance and coaching from their managers. In fact, how employees feel about career development and aspirations is a key driver of engagement in our PEARL model.
So, when providing critical feedback, be sure to offer your support. For example, share an instance where you experienced the same issue and share how you overcame it. Or include suggestions of how they could approach a similar situation next time.
Instead of overthinking your feedback, lead with empathy and just say it. If you’re over thinking how to feedback you probably won’t get the message across.
Giving feedback doesn’t have to prompt a long discussion and it certainly doesn’t need to wait for the next 121 or performance review. If possible around hybrid or flexible working, try to give feedback in person. Otherwise, arrange a video call. Avoid sending feedback via email.
In Kim Scott’s book on Radical Candour, she illustrates this point in a question ‘If your colleague walked out of the restroom with their fly down what do you say?’
Following the axels of Kim’s feedback framework, ruinous empathy means you do not say anything (and let them face further embarrassment), being obnoxiously aggressive (high in direct challenge and low in personal care) means you shout it out for others to hear, while being radically candid simply means you whisper it to the person.
Don’t be abstract when giving feedback. Instead, explain when the behaviour or incident happened, what happened and the consequence. Separate the action from the person by critiquing the behaviour or the piece of work instead of their personality.
For example, “I don’t feel the final part of that presentation is as strong as it could be. Having seen you in action before, I know you can finish on a stronger note.”
Being specific with feedback means you’re not leaving any room for interpretation. As Steve Jobs said ‘do it in a way that does not call into question your confidence in their abilities.’
Watch Kim Scott explain it in 6 minutes
